Heaven is the Face

Josh has been asking me for a couple of days if I have heard the new song by Steven Curtis Chapman.  I haven't heard it but he has been telling me that it's about his little girl that passed away.  Tonight we finally sat down and listened to it and I am overwhelmed with the words.

After Caleb died going to church was really hard.  I was so much more emotional at church and would cry just about every week.  Standing there singing worship songs and praising God with other people made me think of what Heaven must be like.  I had this image of Heaven in my head of constant praise and worhip and awe of Christ.  I would try to picture what Caleb was doing at that exact moment in Heaven.  Was he praising God just like I was?  Was he playing with the other babies that had too short lives as well?   At times it has been excrutiating thinking about Caleb being there without me and me here without him.  A desperate seperation that only a parent can feel for their child that is no longer with them.  Though I know that he is in the best place and he will never experience the pain and suffering of this life on earth I still selfishly want him here with me.  I want to see what color his eyes would have been.  To kiss his little feet and toes and to hear him say "mama"  I want the weight of him in my arms and I want to hear his little laugh.  I want to know everything that I will never know about him this side of Heaven. 

So, as I have mentioned before and always do...Caleb makes me long for Heaven so much more.  Not only will I be with Christ for eternity and will never suffer again but I will also get to be with my Caleb forever and get to know him in the way that I never will here on Earth. 

Here are the lyrics to the song.  It's exactly how I feel and long for:

Heaven is the face of a little girl

With dark brown eyes
That disappear when she smiles.

Heaven is the place
Where she calls my name
Says, “Daddy please come play with me for awhile.”

God, I know, it’s all of this and so much more,
But God, You know, that this is what I’m aching for.
God, you know, I just can’t see beyond the door.

So right now...
Heaven is the sound of her breathing deep,
Lying on my chest, falling fast asleep while I sing.
And Heaven is the weight of her in my arms,
Being there to keep her safe from harm while she dreams

And God, I know, it’s all of this and so much more,
But God, You know, that this is what I’m longing for
God, you know, I just can’t see beyond the door. 
But in my mind’s eye I can see a place
Where Your glory fills every empty space.
All the cancer is gone,
Every mouth is fed,
And there’s no one left in the orphans’ bed.

Every lonely heart finds their one true love,
And there’s no more goodbye,
And no more not enough,
And there’s no more enemy.

Heaven is a sweet, maple syrup kiss
And a thousand other little things I miss with her gone.
Heaven is the place where she takes my hand
And leads me to You,
And we both run into Your arms.

Oh God, I know, it’s so much more than I can dream.
It’s far beyond anything I can conceive.
So God, You know, I’m trusting You until I see
Heaven in the face of my little girl,

Heaven in the face of my little girl.

Love,
Miranda